FML

damn therapist doesn't know me at all she thinks my ultimate desire is a husband I am chocking on the force feeding of normalcy. I think Hot mess Hair is out of her fecking mind. I need to talk about fears and what happens when my fear makes me want to slit my own throat. She needs so serious education on eating disorder and the real world I do not know how much more god is the answer bullshit I am holy shit mad but I purged twice today breakfast an lunch and to all my med. I am going to have to educate her big time and frankly it is not my job. done rant and scene. she tells me all the time your beautiful blah blah oh how can I stand her

Here we go again

 So here we go, again In a small closet there is a little girl. She is hiding there behind he sister's dresses and the Sunday shoes. The beat up sneakers and smelly socks. All the way in the back, can you see her ? Blond hair that catches the little bit of light, dirty elbows from playing in the dirt. There just barely you can see a band aid on her knee. Maybe you wonder why she is hiding here in the dark. Maybe you think she is playing. I mean after all she is so little. Why else? there are others of you that know. You know what it is like to put your back to the wall and stare out into this world from the dark. You have probably guessed that she is afraid. You don't know why she is scared but I do. Perhaps you don't care either. Well I tried that too.  So If you don't want to know then go away. Because I am going to let her tell the world why. Why on this day is she hiding in the closet.
" They took my clothes she whispers. they tied the leash to my neck, they made me eat the dog food again." She doesn't even cry anymore. ( i am afraid of dog food)