crying shame

So i weighed myself today,(boo fucking hoo) . Why did I do this shame inducing thing. Because I had to know, well no not really.  I am going to the doctor's today and I wanted to be prepared  I hate being blind sided there. So I did it I stepped on the scale. Why is it that my mood is tied to that little box? I hate this life I want off the train. The choo choo to relapse. I gotta get off.  Diet girl says that if I don't change my ways I am dumped. How do I say I can't change this. It is my life. and it is a crying shame