Tuesday, February 23, 2010

weights and nic and nightmares

hip hip. I started training today. For what I don't quite know life in general maybe. I met with Nic the personal trainer. She started me on my weights and strength training today.  I feel exuberant there is a feeling word for you    
e dog. We did bicep curls and tricep curls and dead lifts and all kinds of squats( I just said Squat in a sentence hahah) So it was good tiring but good.
   Nightmares continue to plague me. Memories from long ago have crept up around my ears. They whisper awful scary thing to me. they make my appetite vanish and nausea settles in for the long ride. I tried to talk to Sanity about it and she gave me skills to work on. Problem solving this is not helping. It helps the behaviors some but not the emotions. My world is slowly falling in around me. It becomes chaotic when emotions overwhelm me. Soon everything does, food, laundry, house cleaning they all fall by the wayside and I want to crawl into my bed and hide. That solves nothing though so here I am do I accept reality for the disaster it is. How do I do this one foot at a time turning the mind and cleaning the kitchen and bathroom.

No comments:

Post a Comment